Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Universal Mind Control?


This is that new [sic], keep them standin' in line/that Universal Mind Control, now move your behind/you know you like it, it's calling your name/this is that new [sic] and it don't feel the same.


Yesterday, the feds cut off my TV. Not because of my engagement in suspicious activities, but because of their tendency to frequently send friendly reminders to everyone who has not yet installed the digital converter box for the impending Television Revolution on the 17th of next month. About two weeks ago, I received two $40 coupons for the televisions in my home so that I can continue to fuel my unhealthy addiction to mindless hours of couch surfing (I have yet to purchase the things, I perform best under pressure). My friend and I have come to the conclusion that it's all a conspiracy. That's right... universal mind control.

Now don't get me wrong, I am by no means a paranoid person (though at times I think that I should be), but I'm wondering why we're spending so much time and money on something that seems, well, trivial. The argument for the movement is that by switching to DTV, television stations will be able to multicast by providing several streams of HDTV programs simultaneously. It will also free up airwaves that can be used toward "advanced wireless and public safety devices" that can be used to assist police, fire departments and rescue squads if necessary. Whatever. Despite my belief that the switch will facilitate the government in tracking my whereabouts, I'm still going to purchase the converter boxes before they turn off my television and I'm left to do more productive stuff like read or exercise. It's my responsibility to uphold and protect the American way.

PEACE

Ugh. Mid-Afternoon Rant.


I’m not too sure why, but today I’m just frustrated with a lot of things. I guess that all the time that I spend thinking has finally caught up with me and I’m really hoping that I’m not showing signs of slipping back into my quarter-life crisis. Perhaps I just need to work on being more patient… in due time, the pieces to the puzzle will fall into place and I’ll have the peace of knowing that I am where God needs me to be. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to keep doing the next thing. C’est la vie.
PEACE

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Relaxer? When Was My Hair Ever Tense?



As of recently, I've been desiring to make a few necessary adjustments in my life. It's often said that when a woman is looking for change, she often does something drastic to her appearance. I've come to realize that I am no exception; for the past few months I have been experimenting with makeup, altering my exercise patterns, and monitoring my eating habits in order to a make a healthier and more improved me. Amongst my efforts to tone up my arms and become a disciplined pescetarian, I have also shifted some of my focus to my hair. On Valentine's day, it will have been two years since I straigtened my follicles with the aid of a relaxer. Since then, I have sprouted a head full of kinky, curly, wavy naps that I have fallen madly in love with. However, I am in the process of discovering all of the things that I can do with it... when I was considering growing out my relaxed hair, or "going natural" as it is often referred as, I was convinced by my natural sisters that unprocessed hair is just as versatile as it is when it is chemically altered. I had no reason to believe otherwise as most of them sported twists, locs, braids and puffs while managing to look nothing short of fabulous. Some even played around with hair color. After much consideration and angst, I ultimately clipped off the relaxed ends of my coif and began the long and arduous journey of accepting the uninhibited and unaltered hair that was undoubtedly mine.

This past Friday I entrusted my hair to my good friend who knows how to work the mess out of her curling iron. For three hours, she combed, parted, conditioned, blowdried and pressed my hair until it laid as flat as it did when I was still rocking a perm.
The scene took me back to the kitchen salon of my momma's friend that she faithfully sent me to every two weeks in order to have my roots touched up and tamed. In my family, straight hair was the status quo. Anything else outside of that was considered untamed, unkempt and uncouth. My mother's family bore a long line of women with naturally curly and wavy hair. The introduction of my father's DNA into the blood line yielded something that they were definitely not used to: a head of hair that did not obey with minimal combing and prodding and defiantly refused to respond to light heat. My mother was so taken aback that she administered my first relaxer when I was two. Despite having a perm, my hair was too thick and too coarse to make life for a working mother easy. Many an afternoon I was hoisted into a high chair and subjected to the torture of having someone tug at my scalp until I was driven to the point of tears. When I got older I was introduced to a pressing comb that burned my ears and forehead more times than I was comfortable with. When I got older I eventually took my hair into my own hands and began to relax, color, curl and press my hair on my own. Despite feeling like my scalp had been doused with gasoline and set aflame, I persisted with my relaxers as I felt that it was the typical instrument that ensured maintenance of the hegemonic European standard of beauty that is pervasive in today's society. It wasn't until my sophomore year in college that things eventually came to a head. While waiting on a bus stop to go home, I ran my fingers through my newly permed strands and clumps of hair came out. I freaked out. I came home, looked in the mirror, and noticed that several parts of my hair had broken out, leaving behind random patches of unrelaxed roots (go figure). You would think that would have been my last relaxer ever. I went on to perm my hair several times after that until one day it finally hit me. Everytime I visited the "ethnic care" aisle in a drug store or beauty supply I felt that I was perpetrating in a major way. Here I was, just as Black as I wanna be, buying a box of cream that made my scalp feel as if someone was ripping the flesh from my head in hopes that I could have long flowing locks like the smiling woman on the box. What was I hiding?

During my "transition" phase from relaxed to natural hair, I learned that my hair was interesting. It spiraled, it kinked, it curled. It grew out and not down. It was totally different from anything that I'd ever known my hair to be. The crinkly texture felt good to the pads of my fingers. For the first time in my life, I truly felt that I loved my hair. I did not cut my hair for political reasons, but over the course of my transition I began to develop an appreciation for a hair that is indigenously African. Coarse hair is scientifically explained as a trait inherent amongst people living in warmer regions as it provides a way for cool air to escape from the scalp. It was a statement worn by people (including Caucasians) in the early to middle half of the 20th century for reasons that bordered between protest and fad. As the smoke billowed from my friend's curling iron, I felt that I was, in a way, doing the same thing that I did when I chemically straightened my hair. Hiding something. Fighting something that is naturally a part of me. In the three days that my hair has been straightened, I have been dodging raindrops, gauging humidity, and wrapping my head in plastic before I jump in the shower all in an attempt to prevent my hair from evidencing the fact that it is indeed nappy. Without sounding vain or boastful, I am also struggling with all of the new attention that I am getting from the opposite sex. When I am wearing my trademark puff, my compliments are mainly generated from women and men who have an appreciation for women with natural hair. Typically they'll walk past and utter "I love your hair, sis" without breaking their stride or pausing to hear me say, "Thank you." With my hair being pressed, I am noticing that I'm getting more head turns, car honks and "Hey baby, what's your name?"s from all kinds of men. It's really awkward and it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. I'm always self conscious and it just doesn't feel like the real me. Although it's been nice having the reminiscent experience of running my fingers through my hair, I have just come to terms with the fact that my hair is what is intrisically me. We'll see how long the feeling lasts.

PEACE

Song of the Day



Diana Ross - Home (The Wiz)
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Diana Ross sings "Home" from the epic film "The Wiz." In all honesty, this movie jacked me up as a kid. I developed an unhealthy fear of snowstorms, subways, graffiti and women that looked like Evilene. But I have since been healed and have come to accept it as one of my favorite films of all time... and Ms. Ross sings her BUTT OFF in this scene. Sheer greatness.

PEACE

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Irony



Yesterday I did not go to work. Even if I weren’t approved for time off, I would have taken it anyway because I was not going to miss our country inaugurate its first Black president. One of my best friends followed suit and made the decision to boycott school for the day so that she could watch the event at my house. Together, we sat on that couch and wept. We wept when we saw two brown girls and their grandmother descend the steps onto Capitol Hill. We were still weeping when we saw their tall, gorgeous mother cascade to her seat in anticipation of her husband. We wept some more when our president got his first glimpse of the two million people who flooded the mall in order to hear him speak and bear witness to history. There were no words. No expressions. Just tears. Not those Jesse Jackson "we got our first Black president, I still wanna castrate him" tears, but those "My God, it's finally happening" tears. My friend and I have bore only 23 years, but the experiences of our foremothers and forefathers are fresh on our minds. The visions of bruised and bloodied black bodies swinging from trees and despondent brown faces placidly existing in the rear corners of every public institution permeated our awareness and made the situation at hand all the more weighty. It was truly surreal. Tears gave way to prayer. Prayer gave way to rejoicing. Rejoicing gave way to awe. Not just awe of the magnitude of the moment, but of the realization that our country is indeed changing. There's a Black man in the White House.

Some people liken the day to a honeymoon with the actual marriage beginning today. Now begins the accountability, the expectancy of promise fulfillment, and the warranted criticisms for any failure to bring about the change that we voted for. I have every intention to hold our president responsible, and with as much tenacity as I exerted towards those that have preceded him, but I am so grateful for the blessing of having witnessed something that I didn't have much hope of seeing in my lifetime. I refuse to believe the criticisms that all of the celebration is only a fallacious preparation for disappointment. In all honesty, I am more proud of my country's growth than I am of Barack Obama. I am more proud of a generation that turned out in droves to spite its predecessors by looking beyond a black posterior and choosing to elect the better candidate. I am more proud of my people who, while recognizing that we are not yet in a post-racial era, still vow to embrace and support our brother throughout the scrutiny that he may encounter yet refuse to allow his Blackness to provide an excuse for ineffectiveness. I remember how bothered I was when someone mentioned that Obama's biracial background did not truly make the election as historic as most people thought; he is still half white, so he's not really our country's first "Black" president. Well. Less than 150 years ago, mulattos were just as Black as any deep-hued Black person alive. Mulattos, Quadroons, Octoroons, and anyone else believed to have a drop of Black blood were considered Black. That drop barred them from enrolling in school, owning property, and voting in elections. When people look at Barack, they don't say, "Oh look, he's White." They see a broad nose, tawny skin and coarse hair. They see a Black man. A man who would not have been able to vote in an election has now been voted into the most powerful position in the free world. Excuse my enthusiasm, but my president is Black! I am not sure what the next four years will look like, but right now I choose to relish in the newlywed phase of our marriage. As with all things, I also choose to take it step by step daily and let the Lord lead. I pray that God will keep our brother safe and grounded in these tumultuous times and that he can emerge from this dark era unscathed. Peace be upon him.

PEACE

Benediction



Dr. Josephy Lowery of the ever impactful Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) delivered a wonderful benediction at Obama's inauguration. Truthfully, I must say that it was my favorite part of the ceremony.

May we turn to each other and not on each other.

PEACE

Saturday, January 17, 2009

From The 22 To The 44

According to a recent CBS News/New York Times poll, George W. Bush's final approval rating stands at 22%, the lowest rating in the Gallup poll's 70 year history of measuring president approvals. The national deficit now stands at $455 Billion with the expectation to exceed $1 Trillion in light of the multiple bailouts that are intended to rescue our struggling economy. Bush's parting speeches were rooted in deep denial and subtle remorse. Barack Obama is poised to become officially inaugurated as the 44th president of the United States in a mere three days. If anyone can claim that he began his presidency with the country in a recession, it is Barack. Shortly after my euphoria from November 4th began to subside, I began to pity Barack for what he was about to inherit: two wars in the Middle East, an economy on life support, and widespread anti-American sentiment. I prayed for his strength, and I still do. I never expected him to be our country's savior, but I can only hope that God will not only use him to turn this country in a more positive direction, but also to demonstrate that there is such a thing as positive Black male leadership (I know it exists, but I need everyone else to know). Neither here nor there, I pray nothing but the best for the outgoing and the incoming... God help us all.

PEACE

Friday, January 16, 2009

Like A Virgin?


I'm in the process of reading "Virgin: The Untouched History" by Hanne Blank. I picked up this book because I'm trying to figure out what the virgin's role in society is. Anomalous and awkward, virgins have to discover ways to convince larger society that they are still culturally and theologically significant and therefore relevant. For most people, virginity loses its appeal once one becomes discontent with being viewed as inexperienced and incompetent in an area that heavily saturates our culture. In essence, one becomes overpowered by curiosity and/or pressure, volition is compromised, and deflowering ensues. I can recall that in my pre-adolescent years, many of the older women would make their admonitions by speaking in riddles. They would warn that when I got older, I should always make an effort to "be sweet" and remember that "good girls don't" (when in all actuality good girls do, and they do it with as much frequency as the bad/not-so-sweet girls). When I graduated from high school, my mother presented me with a gold ring, symbolic of purity, and told me to wear it until I could replace it with a wedding ring. I've never been one to back down from a challenge, so I've remained abstinent for the past five years that I've had it. There was something about this whole 'ceremony' of sorts that struck me as odd. My older brother wasn't sporting a purity ring... was he ever given one? Was he ever subjected to the awkwardness of discussing sexuality with a parental figure who made him vow to chastity before marriage?

I came across this article on the blog Something Within and began to wonder why chastity isn't encouraged nearly as much in boys as it is in girls. Is purity not a virtue that is transcendant between the sexes? The article describes the pompous (and rather lame)event of "Abstinence Balls" where a father presents his daughter with a lock and promises that the key will be given to her future husband on their wedding day (check the symbolism). That's creepy, and I'm glad that I was spared such an act of father-daughter bonding. I am familiar that biblically virgins are typified as women who have not married and have thereby not engaged in intercourse. The only chaste men referenced are eunuchs, or those that have been castrated so not as to have sex with the queen. There were even 'virginity checks'; a woman's groom had to present her father with a shroud stained with the blood that is shed upon initial coital contact. I've assumed that the double standards that exist between masculine and feminine virginity were, from a biblical viewpoint, resultant of Eve's decision to eat the forbidden fruit which henceforth implicated all women in various forms of suffering and disadvantage. And, being a Christian who accepts the Bible to be infallible, I go along with it. But given today's context, where one begins to experience ostracism upon remaining a virgin past the age of 21, it appears that the virgin is no longer the revered figure that it once was. In the days of the Bible, it was extremely unlikely that a woman would remain unmarried beyond the age of 20 with some being girls given as young as 12 or 13. It is speculated that at the time of Jesus' birth, Mary was approximately 15 or 16 years old and betrothed to her fiancee Joseph (who wanted to quietly break off the relationship out of fear that her pregnancy would lead people to believe that she had been ruined before marriage). Spinsterhood was also uncommon as late as the 19th century as more people married for subsistence as opposed to the abstract concepts of love and attraction. Nonetheless, today's notion of feminine virginity is a rare concept. Most women are assumed to be experienced to some degree prior to their marriage, and those who aren't are skeptically accepted into relationships out of fear that they're conservative views will place a strain on any attempts at interpersonal passion and connection.

There is a saying that the only men interested in virgin women are those that are too old and too slow to keep up with anything else. I've considered questions such as, "Why are women the only ones expected to maintain an oath of chastity prior to marriage?" and "Is this just an American thing or are all men exempt from the virgin doctrine?" I've noticed that the only ones, globally, that are stoned and considered "ruined" for having premarital or extramarital sex are women. Men are typically admonished not to get anyone pregnant or, as Pa said in The Color Purple, contract the "nasty woman's disease." Where's the accountability for male virginity? The Bible warns against sexual immorality and male prostitution, but the concept of sexual immorality is rather vague and most men aren't prostituting themselves when they choose to sleep with someone that they love. I have several male friends who have told me that they wish there was someone telling them to reserve their virginity for the women that were intended to be their wives. Furthermore, they've often felt that their masculinity was hopelessly attached to their sexuality; being a male virgin was a sign of wimpiness and an inability to appeal to women. As a result, they feel that they have given away something special to women that they have absolutely no feelings for, and to make matters worse, some have had children by these women. For this reason, I've decided to conduct a little more research. Hopefully, by further exploring this dichotomy between male and female virginity, I can come up with more concrete answers to my questions... a weird topic to research, but very enigmatic nonetheless.

PEACE

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

God Bless The Child


God, please bless Kanye West. From the looks of this picture, he isn't doing too well. Mr. West managed to lose a mother and a fiance in the span of a year and his most recent release 808s and Heartbreak depressed the mess out of me. I don't think he's acting. God, please be with this man.

Thank you and goodnight... PEACE

Monday, January 12, 2009

@#$%!


My apologies for the previous post. I confess that my admission was a tad bit TMI, and maybe I should have kept that fact to myself. But it was truly just one of those days... in a span of two hours, I had held a lighthearted conversation with an elderly gentleman on the bus, I had experienced anger and frustration with a coworker, and went through a crying fit because I felt fat and inadequate. In the midst of all of this emotional upheaval, perhaps something positive did come out of this rather odd experience. Eventually my head was clear enough to think about all of the ways that I had censored myself this morning. I censored myself when I resisted the urge to tell the elderly white man that I spoke with on the bus that I had intentions to attend the MLK March on the 19th out of fear that he would get the initial impression that I was an extremely pro-Black militant. I censored myself when my coworker not only failed to show backbone in admitting her mistakes, but tried to pin those mistakes on me. I censored myself when I told everyone that my puffy eyes and red nose were the results of allergies as opposed to feelings of discontent. Why had I chosen to do that to myself? I knew that I wasn't militant, I knew that I didn't feel nearly as placid as I looked during that encounter with my coworker, and I knew that I am one of the few people that I know who don't suffer from allergies. So why was I censoring myself?

I thought back to a few of the courses that I took as an undergrad. Of the innumerable studies that I read as a psychology major, a prevalent finding was that women, to varying degrees, are very docile and passive creatures. At the time, it was difficult digesting that. I grew up around too many strong-willed women who seemed to not know what it meant to be neither passive nor docile. I'd never been aggressive, so I knew that there had to be some truth to it. Women are more likely to curb their tongue, watch their actions, and yield to the aggressive party in a conflict more quickly than their male counterparts. Today, I did not want to settle on the assumption that my passiveness was resultant of me being socialized as a girl. I wanted to believe that there was something greater that spoke to me being anything but an emotional woman. It just sounded too cliche. But in all actuality, that is exactly why I did what I did today. Despite the fact that I have so many outspoken friends, I was trained by a traditional mother and grandmother that a woman is to be seen and not heard. This opinion was often reinforced by the majority of my female educators, none more than my high school principal who actually made the declaration during a senior assembly. It wasn't until I got to college that I became familiar with feminist attitudes, and by that time the ideology of the submissive woman had become so ingrained in my psyche that the thought of assuming the role of aggressor and defending one's femininity just seemed to be a risky foreign concept. A woman was to be nothing more than someone who merely existed to quietly acquiesce to the masculine right while simultaneously denying her own presuppositions of what is fair and what is of her own personal benefit. So perhaps this is why I chose not to tell the elderly man about my participation in the upcoming march. As opposed to being a Black person, I did not want him to think that a woman was using her voice to acknowledge the actions of an era that aided in the disestablishment of Jim Crow. But perhaps it was for a different reason that I chose not to explode on my coworker this morning. I didn't want to give those around me the satisfaction of assuming that I was a typical woman who can't control her emotions. It's for that same reason that I chose to lie about my tears so that no one would get the impression that I was soft. I'm pretty sure this isn't healthy. I'll admit that one of the things that I have to work on in the new year is to find a way to release the anxiety attached to expressing myself emotionally. In the words of Audre Lorde,

"I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood... when we speak we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak."

PEACE

Song of The Day


Stressed Out -- A Tribe Called Quest

This song encapsulates how I feel for today. My emotions have already run amok and it's not even 10:30... oh, the joys of being a menstruating working woman.

PEACE

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Song of The Day


Boyz II Men -- Color of Love

One of the best songs from one of the BEST R&B groups... PEACE

Friday, January 9, 2009

Le Greek Politique

On a warm evening in my sophomore year of college, my friend and I passed by the university gymnasium and noticed hundreds of people huddled around a makeshift wooden platform. Next to the platform, a DJ loudly played the latest uncensored rap hits to keep the crowd entertained. We ran into a couple of friends that informed us that they had been waiting for the past hour to watch a prominent sorority introduce 13 of its newest members. It was a probate. After much waiting, a shiny black stretch limousine pulled up to the curb and the crowd began cheering in anticipation and running towards the car with their cameras ready. Upon the DJs cue, the ladies filed out of the car in a single file line and danced towards the platform. Draped in the sorority's colors and wearing the customary mask to conceal their identities, they lined up on the platform according to height and straightly stood with their chins tilted toward the sky. Being my first probate, I had seen nothing like it. I had never seen an organization stage such ceremony for introducing members to the public. It was as if the girls had become overnight celebrities. As part of the ceremony, the ladies were required to reveal their identity by taking off their mask. As each mask came off, the crowd would let up a huge roar with exclamations that they did not know that their best friend/classmate/roommate had made the decision to pledge lifelong affiliation to an organization that promises accountability on the planes of sisterhood, scholarship and service. After the probate ended and the girls had officially been inducted, several spectators who had yet to join a Black Greek Letter Organization (BGLO) quietly voiced their desires to do so.

I left the probate desiring the same thing. I was enthralled by the display of sisterhood that night, and made it a point to conduct a little research of my own. Growing up, I was familiar with their names. I can remember that my elementary school principal had a license plate frame on her car that read, "A Phi A Sweetheart, 1976." One of my science teachers in high school excitedly awaited rainy days so that she could pull out her humongous pink and green umbrella that let everyone know that she was a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha. My uncle took it upon himself to encourage my brother and me to make sure that we made Black greek life a part of our college experience by informing us of their histories and their significance in the Black community. I scoured the internet learning about the four sororities that are part of what is referred to as the "Divine Nine," or the nine organizations belonging to the National Panhellenic Council. I took in the histories of Zeta Phi Beta, Sigma Gamma Rho, Alpha Kappa Alpha, and Delta Sigma Theta, and soon learned that I wasn't the only one as their informational books did not become available at the campus library until weeks after I requested them. I eventually fell in love with the history and mission of one of these organizations and decided that I would attend the next interest meeting that they would hold in the upcoming semester. In the process of waiting for the interest meeting, I learned quite a bit about the politics of becoming greek. Displaying or vocalizing any interest in a particular organization virtually blacklisted you from becoming a member in the other organizations, and may even jeopardize your chances of becoming a part of your intended as it's crucial that one goes through the entire process undetected by the public. Approaching members for information on the next interest meeting, wearing the organization's colors at the interest meeting, and being seen arriving at or leaving from the interest meeting were all forbidden technicalities that put your chances of "making it on line" (or making it to the period that all pledges must go through for bonding and informational purposes) at risk. It was very confusing and intimidating. I had to get all of the information that I was looking for in a roundabout way so that I didn't give up the fact that I was interested in going greek. As the semester progressed, I didn't hear anything about an interest meeting and it wasn't until I picked up a copy of the campus paper and discovered that the organization had been banned for hazing.

The organization had been banned for the next three years from inducting new members and wearing any paraphernalia on campus due to reports that its most recent members endured physical assaults, intimidation and harrassment during their pledge process. I was aware of all that hazing could entail; I knew that some processes got off with little to no hazing while others endured extreme torture for the sake of earning three greek letters. Such was the experience of Michael Davis. Michael Davis was a 25-year-old student at Southeast Missouri State University when he decided to try out for membership in Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. One night during his process, he and other members of his pledge class were driven out to a secluded area and severely beaten by members of the fraternity. At the end of the incident, the members drove an unconscious Davis back to his residence (as opposed to the hospital), but not before stopping to get a bite to eat at Taco Bell. The next morning, Davis was found by his roommate, a member of his pledge class, foaming at the mouth and with a black fluid leaking out of his ear. Davis was taken to the hospital but succumbed from the several injuries that he had incurred that night (including a lacerated liver and kidney, broken ribs, and brain hemorrhage). The fraternity members told members of the pledge class to discard all fraternity-related paperwork that may have been in Davis' apartment and to tell authorities that Davis injured himself while playing football. When the truth surfaced, seven members of the organization served light jail sentences and, according to Davis' mother, Kappa Alpha Psi never offered an apology for Michael's death. The Davis family was recently awarded a $1.4 million settlement from the organization.

Hazing is prohibited by the executive board of all nine organizations in the NPHC, but it is covertly implemented and oftentimes overlooked as an integral part in the bonding aspect of the pledge process. It is believed that enduring physical and mental torment strengthens the bond between pledges who go through the ordeal together. Hazing is also supposed to instill within the pledges a sense of pride for having suffered for membership in the organization. It is what separates the strong from the weak. The member from the wannabe. The pledge from the paper.

"Pledging paper" is a somewhat tragic oxymoron that excludes actual members of an organization from experiencing authentic brotherhood or sisterhood within their organization.
This process is for those who seek to acquire membership via an intake process that involves signing off on paperwork, or for those who have graduated from college and are seeking membership through a graduate chapter. Though membership can be attained from this process, it is typically frowned upon by "real" members that have pledged into the organization. A lack of cohesiveness develops amongst members and the notion of belonging comes into question. For example, a NPHC sorority had been inactive on our campus for quite some time (about two or three years). They had not been banned from the university, they just told everyone that they were not seeking to acquire new members because they had "bonded" and were content with being the way they were. A handful of girls weren't trying to hear all that. Many of them had grown up with the anticipation of pledging the sorority once they got to college. Some had come from long familial lines of women who had been members in the organization, and it was expected for them to follow suit once their time came. To wait their whole lives to get to college and seek membership in the organization only to hear the excuse given by the chapter members was unacceptable. The girls went through the national board to obtain permission to sign paperwork that would grant them membership in the organization. They were obliged, and suddenly we now had new members of the sorority sporting paraphernalia on campus. There was no probate, no grand announcement introducing their accomplishment unlike the girls mentioned at the beginning of the post. The members who had "bonded" were livid to say the least. There was a Facebook fiasco where the older members denounced the newer members, saying in not-so-nice terms that they were not "real" sisters, their sisters were the ones who pledged into the organization. The newer members felt alienated, and questioned if they were really entitled to wear the greek letters that they had definitely paid for. It wasn't until the older members graduated that the new girls were able to rep their organization without being stigmatized for taking the "easy way in."

After learning that the organization I wanted to try out for had been banned for the rest of my undergraduate career, I wondered if I'd ever be a part of the sorority, or if I wanted to be associated with a group that would exchange torture for sisterhood. I tried to think over all of the ways that the organization had been beneficial to our university and our community, and I had a hard time doing so. I knew that they were good for throwing parties. I knew that they could put together a live step show. I knew that were able to commandeer the respect from greeks and non-greeks alike due to the prestige that is tied to their organization, but I just did not know enough about what they did for the community. I'd be overwhelmed if I received one community service flier for every two that I received advertising a greek foam party, club party or step show. In spite of being aware of all the good things that the graduate chapters of these organizations had contributed to the wellbeing of the community, I began to think that BGLOs were irrelevant on the college level.

Now, I have to give them some credit. I have attended my share of engaging, thought-provoking forums on campus that were hosted by members of these organizations. My questioning of the relevance of collegiate BGLOs was resultant of what I considered to be the prevalence of hypocrisy between what these organizations are today and what they were at the time of their inception. When I first became interested in a particular greek sorority, I remember how I was enamored by the indignation of the founders who sought to create a new organization in the shadow of another that they felt was more social than activist. I remember being enthused when I learned that several of my political, artistic and personal sheroes were members. I didn't want to join to step, strut, call, wear colors or throw up a hand sign. Those were fringe benefits. I wanted to join to be molded into a woman of intellect that had the power to change her world for the better, much like how its founders had. I do not doubt that BGLOs create individuals of this caliber, nor do I doubt the influence that BGLOs have had on our country and our world. But I cannot help but to imagine how much more efficient their impact would be on the college level if its members more closely emulated the organization's ideologies outlined in its original mission. Perhaps I still have a lot more to learn.

PEACE

P.S. -- I ultimately joined a non-NPHC organization, and I love my sorors dearly. I guess everything really does happen for a reason!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Ain't I a Woman?


In one of my previous posts, I mentioned that the Washington Post is doing a feature on issues affecting women globally. Amongst these issues was that of the danger childbirth imposes on women living in underdeveloped countries such as Sierra Leone. I ran across the stories of Saio Marah and Adama Sannoh, two women who find themselves giving birth in less than sanitary conditions without the use of necessary medical equipment. Sannoh, a 28-year-old wife and mother, ultimately dies during the delivery and subsequently loses her unborn child. A brief pictorial documentary was composed to convey the circumstances surrounding Sannoh's death and reactions by family members. Marah did not lose her life, but her child was not as lucky; after being in labor for three days, the stress was too much for her baby girl to handle. From the start, the chances of having both mother and child come out of the delivery virtually unscathed were not in their favor: as opposed to being seen by an OB-GYN, Marah had to settle for a doctor who had been trained as an opthalmologist. The doctor was accustomed to delivering babies as he is only one of two doctors servicing 300,000 people. The hospital could not afford medical equipment, so the burden of purchasing and retrieving the equipment necessary fell upon her family. Marah's husband earns a salary of $100 per year as a jewelry maker, and the $70 cost for the C-Section set him back severely. Why am I saying all of this?

Because just a few days ago, 20/20 did a documentary on Extraordinary Motherhood. The hour-long piece featured a birthing method that many women across the country are referring to as not only a "best-kept secret," but also a "neglected human right":

Orgasmic Birthing.




During the process of orgasmic birthing, a woman is capable of achieving orgasm during childbirth with the assistance of a doula, as opposed to the more satisfying feeling of being ripped in half (note the sarcasm). After watching the segment, I, of course, was skeptical. I was waiting on the footage that showed these women screaming Uncle once the child's head popped out. I couldn't really blame the women for wanting to sexualize something so... how do you say... not sexy, but then again I wondered why it was necessary to do so. Biblically, pain in childbirth is believed to be one of the consequences assigned to all of womankind due to Eve's decision to eat the forbidden apple. Henceforth, all women can now expect to experience some degree of discomfort while ushering a life into this world. Cool. But is it truly expedient to use your baby as an instrument of sexual pleasure?

Furthermore, the birthing disparities that exist between the women in Sierra Leone and the women featured in the 20/20 segment are blatantly inequitable. The 20/20 women all had the option of running to a nearby hospital if something were to go wrong. They could be assured that all of the appropriate equipment would be readily available and that they would be seen by someone who has been trained in the safe delivery of children. For many women across the world, this is a luxury as the nearest hospital may be hundreds of miles away. Birth pains indiscriminately wreak havoc on female bodies before, during, and after the actual delivery. Some of the damage is cosmetic, while others may incur extensive internal damage... this brings to mind the young women of Ethiopia and Niger who develop fistulas because their underdeveloped hips are too narrow to accomodate their child's girth. In these countries, the age of the woman at the time of birth compounded with a lack of medical assistance during the delivery often equates to a condition that is only reparable through a surgery that they cannot afford; they are thereby dismissed from their communities as outcasts due to their inability to control their defecation. It is quite apparent that the place in which you give birth dictates how animalistic and barbaric your childbirth experience will be, and also whether or not you will have access to adequate health care for the injuries that you may incur during the process.

Perhaps I'm wrong for feeling that those who engage in orgasmic birthing are selfish, and, well, weird, but I feel that there are far greater human rights that are being neglected beyond the ability to reach orgasm during labor. Don't get me wrong, if you can figure out a way to birth children without any pain, let me know before my time comes. I just feel that we should be more sympathetic to the fact that out of the 500,000 women who die in childbirth each year, 495,000 live in underdeveloped nations. If we expect to continue in our beliefs of liberty and justice for all, we should look beyond our borders to assist those who are limited in the entitlement of both principles. If you are interested in researching more about women's rights, feel free to peruse the plethora of topics listed on the Washington Post's website, or visit The International Center for Research on Women for information about what you can do to get involved.

PEACE

Song of the Day



After a rousing 24-21 win over Ohio State last night, today's Song of the Day is UT's "The Eyes of Texas." Quan Cosby, will you marry me?

PEACE

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I Don't Think T-Pain Realizes How Pervasive He Is In Gospel Music


I'm not sure if T-Pain is aware of the extent to which his synthesized beats and vocoder prowess are employed by those seeking to appeal to lost souls. While at church today, members of our worship team composed and performed a song to the tune of T-Pain's most recent hit "Chopped & Screwed." I realized that many of the older congregants don't listen to hip-hop, much less the garbage they are playing on the radio today. But those closer to my age who listen to secular music were familiar with the song; we began to glance at each other questioningly, wondering if it were appropriate to condone the emulation of such a worldly song. Don't get me wrong, the song was catchy. I found myself walking out of service singing, "You've officially been saved by Christ, by Christ, saved-saved by Christ. You've officially been saved by Christ..."

But this wasn't the first time that I've heard Pain's influence in gospel music:


Mary Mary - God in Me

Powerhouse gospel group Mary Mary recently released an album that features a song entitled "God in Me." The song explicates the stories of those who are apparently living the "good life" as noted by peers and strangers while the subjects within the lyrics choose to credit God for blessing them with the things that they have. I think the message within the song is wonderful. Within the first 10 seconds, T-Pain's synthesized trademark "Haaa" is sampled on the track, and is looped several times throughout its duration. Christian rapper Sho Baraka also enlists references from the rap mogul in his song, "Higher Love":

I've been burned by the world, and it showed no sympathy
I would give my all and it stripped me of my dignity
Stripped me of my reason, my morals and my temper
Stripped me of everything, I was in love with a stripper

Of course, Baraka is not referring to an exotic dancer nor is he irreverently analogizing our Savior to one. After our worship team finished their song, I was left with a few questions (surprise!); it was difficult for me to understand how permissible it was to fashion Christian music after that of an artist who chooses to refer to himself as "Teddy Pinnedher[...]down." I was always wary of artists who employ secular music to appeal to the unchurched because I figured that it would eventually funnel them back into secularity. I imagined that if someone outside of relationship with Christ was actually appealed to by this type of Christian music, they would more than likely ask the artist about their song. Upon discovering that the song was actually a sampling of music by a secular artist, they may go home, research the secular artist, decide that genre appeals to them more, and essentially abandon the Christian artist altogether.

I met up with my friend after service and discussed the performance with her. Her opinion was that the worship team engaged in what she refers to as "deep sea fishing." By this, she meant that the team was simply approaching evangelism in a way that would reach those who aren't into Christian music. Her argument made sense as I know many people who aren't fans of Christian rap because they either don't like the beats, the lyrical styles, or either. Her point of view reminded me of a scripture in 1 Corinthians 9:21-23:

To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law... I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

As it turns out, contrary to the older beliefs of what is and is not permissible for worship in the House of God, the worship team actually wasn't wrong for their decision to sample a secular song. Some may still have their contentions about whether or not it was appropriate to perform it at Sunday morning service, but neither here nor there, I am sure that the song appealed to somebody somewhere. Who am I to judge?

PEACE

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Song of the Day


Ursula Rucker -- L.O.V.E.

Blackness


Nas -- Queens Get The Money

As an undergraduate, I remember sitting in one of my Afro-American studies courses when my professor posed this very potent question to his students:

"What does it mean to be Black?"

Saying no more, he surveyed the room and took mental note of the glances that we passed to one another. We were certain that Blackness was undoubtedly hinged upon society's reaction to the amount of melanin in one's skin. For our entire lives we accepted the label of being Black, accepted whatever implications came along with being Black, and unassumedly adopted the stereotypes and speculations associated with being Black. But was that the extent of it? Skin and stereotypes? Did it have its own culture? Do its members share a universal history of maltreatment? We individually wrestled with this question until someone was brave enough to offer their opinion:

"It's an issue of skin color."

Of course, the professor probed the student to go deeper.

"It's an issue of skin color that correlates with the culture, history, and treatment of African-American people."

"Just African-American people?"

"Well, no. It affects anyone who can visibly be identified as having dark skin, coarse hair and African features. Dark skin is a typically undesirable trait, no matter what race you claim."

We managed to turn that one question into an intimate seminar that lasted for three weeks. It wasn't on the syllabus. We were broadsided with having to confront the reasons why we so readily assumed that we were Black without having a firm understanding of what being Black encompassed. We had to come up with solid answers as to why we believed that it was solely our skin color that warranted injustice and prejudice. We had to address how we can substantiate faulty generalizations regarding the color of one's skin. He even tested us on it!

The questions worked. Our minds got to thinking. We wanted to discover if degrees of Blackness existed and the extent to which we could lay claim to being a part of the Black Experience. The discussions were so fulfilling that a fellow classmate took it upon herself to research her family's history. To say that she was proud of being Black (as she knew it) is an understatement. Having a relatively superficial knowledge of her familial background, it took her months before she ultimately discovered that no member of her family experienced American enslavement; she was actually the descendant of Black Spaniards that willfully immigrated to the US at the turn of the century. She know had to learn how to address issues of injustice on the planes of being Black AND Latina. The questions made me think of one of my girlfriends. She is Black by American standards, so is her family. She grew up in a predominately Black neighborhood. However, she does not identify with being Black. She is fluent in Spanish and listens to mostly Spanish music. She holds degrees in Spanish and Latin American studies. Under her own admission, she's Latina. Oddly enough, I do not feel that she is suffering from an identity crisis. I simply feel that she has chosen to relate to her Blackness on a more universal level; as opposed to conforming to the supposition of what it means to be African-American, she chooses to view herself as being a Black Latina. If placed in a Spanish-speaking country, she'd have no trouble being identified as such due to her infatuation with and immersion in Latin culture. The course also made me take into consideration members of my own family. I identify with being a Black American. But, my maternal and paternal bloodlines are like night and day -- literally. My mother is the descendant of extremely fair skinned Black French Creoles. If they chose (which they didn't!), they could have easily passed for being White. On the other hand, my father's family is extremely dark skinned. My brother and I are obvious products of their union as we are one of the few cocoa-colored members of our families. We have cousins that are technically polar opposites of one another with skin tones ranging from milk white to deep chocolate. And yet in still, we are all Black. To varying degrees, we are all subject to the nuisance of its stigma. Both sides are plagued with their own set of stereotypes relative to their Black ancestry. One member may battle accusations of being uppity, sadity and bourgeosie out of simply being a fair-skinned Black while another may struggle with accusations of being violent, shifty and dangerous due to the deep hue of his dark skin.

My professor would be pleased. Years after taking the course my mind is still questioning. Is our blackness linked to skin color or familial nationality? If it is not skin color, does that mean that Whites can be Black if they relate to pro-Black sentiment? If it is a question of family origin, is one's Blackness limited to those who have traceable roots to Africa? If this were the case, everyone could be considered Black as Africa is strongly believed to be the cradle of civilization. If African roots were all that it took to label you as a Black person, what becomes of the American born children of Egyptians and Moroccans who most resemble those of Middle Eastern descent? Is it truly just an issue of skin color?

The resolution that I took away from this course is that Blackness is a relatively social construct employed by individuals who feel the need to implement a way of maintaining an order of superiority. Blackness on the individual level can be something that one defines on his own terms. It is common knowledge that society has developed its own system of who falls in the category of being Black, but the system is broken and malfunctioning. Blackness is a theory that is so vast and incomprehensible that creating truthful generalizations is nearly impossible. Blackness is a concept that defines countless cultures and histories. And they are all truly beautiful.

... PEACE

Friday, January 2, 2009

I Don't Buy It


I still hate talking about relationships, but I feel that for the sake of my sanity there are some things that we still need to discuss before we continue in our cycles of villifying members of the opposite sex. I'm sure that many may be aware of the "[Negroes/Witches] ain't [sic]" philosophy, but let's take a moment to consider how detrimental this mindset is to the progression of our culture as Black people. Far too often, I'm reminded of the highly presumptive fallacy that there there are no positive, single Black men. It's reverberated by everyone from my closest girlfriends to my church's Sunday school coordinator to random strangers who choose to engage me in light conversation. I'm always perplexed by this argument, and before the end of our conversations I find myself engaged in a slight debate defending our men to our sisters. Not to White men. Not to Asian men. To Black women. Some have used the argument that no one knows Black men like Black women. This may very well be true. But I feel that it is important that we realize (as Black women) the effect that this may take on the psyche of our men. Women (not necessarily feminists) typically love to gain empowerment through any viable medium available and by any means necessary. I believe that within every woman, no matter how naturally docile she may be, there is a desire to prove to not only herself but to her male counterparts that she is a fomidable force capable of independent subsistence. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I'm that way myself. But I must ask, at whose expense? With all of the 'girl power' songs coming out as of late, I have born witness to just how agitating the words mewed in the lyrics can be to those who are trying to embody whatever it means to be a Good Man. I can recall a situation that occurred a few weeks back while riding in the car with one of my good male friends. Usually a laid back guy, I noticed how quickly my friend's demeanor switched from placid to annoyed when Beyonce's "If I Were a Boy" began to play on the radio. Scowling, he turned off the radio and muttered, "I hate that song. It's just another male bashing hit." Before I could defend B and tell him that it was just a song, I decided to take the contents of its lyrics into consideration. As it turns out, Beyonce doesn't croon about how she wishes that she were her significant other. She sings about if she were a boy.

Oh, let's talk about generalizations.

Given the fact that most dissatisfactions with Black men are highly generalized, we put those men who strive to be epitomes of success, respect and intellect in a position that forces them to constantly battle the negative stereotypes surrounding masculinity in his culture. Beyonce catchily talks about how she would treat herself if she got the privilege of being both the male and female protagonists in her own relationship. She would listen, because she knows how it hurts. She would be more compassionate to avoid the assumption that she doesn't care how it hurts. It just hurts, and (s)he(?) did it. The most prevalent generalizations attributed to the unavailablility of marriageable Black men are most often personal flaws that can be assigned to only a handful of the actual population. For example:

1. "He's lazy and unwilling to find a job." -- Personal Flaw.

2. "He's unkempt and has bad hygiene." -- Personal Flaw.

3. "He's unfaithful." -- Personal Flaw.

4. "He's disrespectful and can't complete a sentence without using profanity." -- Personal Flaw.

5. "He's uneducated." -- I hesitate to say that this is a personal flaw as I'm almost certain that political and socioeconomic factors played a role in this. You get my drift.

Nobody likes generalizations. African American history (and Latino history, and Middle Eastern history...) is riddled with generalizations that continue to serve as stereotypes that its sharers have to dispel on a daily basis. In all honesty, how much sense is there (in view of the diversity of its defendants) in claiming that ALL Blacks are lazy, stupid, dirty mongrels? It was (and continues to be) a wildly popular opinion. There is not any more sense in upholding the belief that all Black males are lazy, disrespectful and uneducated. I feel that we'd all fare better if we decided to alter our verbiage to make labeling a bit more specific (if we must do it at all).

I suppose that the reason why this whole issue upsets me to the degree that it does is because the assumption that there are no "good" Black men is an attack on all of the positive men that I have known in my lifetime. They must not know who my father was. A man who, in spite of his flaws, never let his children wonder about how much he loved them. They must not know who my brother is. A man who, in spite of being a 16-year-old high school student, managed to work three jobs to support the family when we fell on hard times. They must not know who my frat brothers are. Gentlemen in their own right who love wisdom and truth. All respectable men. If I had to offer one piece of advice on relationships, I would have to say that we have to lighten up on one another. And yes that goes both ways; brothas, respect women as the awesome wonders that they are, the vehicles through which our people pass from eternity into time. Sistas, respect your men as the backbone of a people who managed to endure innumerable years of torture, injustice and oppression. Don't settle for anything less than God's best, but recognize a king when you see one!

PEACE