Today I saw a baby dropped on it's head under my watch. In those few seconds, everything bothering me from the past week just didn't matter. Not the fact that I'm still not in grad school, nor the realization that I've gained 20 lbs. since being out of college. From there, the most urgent thing was assuring myself that this baby was okay. Thankfully, she was fine. But that period of time in which her wellbeing was uncertain was unsettling to say the least. It made me realize that a lot of things that I have been stressin' about are so infinitesimal in comparison to the big picture. The big picture being this: life is precious. Health is precious. Strength is precious. Praise the Lord, He has given me all of these things. So what if I don't get my master's? What if I never lose the weight? Surely, I pray that these things will come to be. But ultimately, God's Will is sovereign... intentionally and with good reason he withholds things from me. The world beats on me and yet I can still say that God is good and His love is worth having. Don't get it twisted, this isn't coming from someone who appreciates or participates in "church culture." I find the overchurched inauthentic and ineffective on several levels. But sometimes God has to shake you up a bit to get your attention, even if it's at the expense of a small child. Had she not been okay, had the baby incurred some form of damage, her life would have drastically changed at the age of six months. God has blessed me with 24 years of blessings... if something were to happen to me tomorrow, I've lived. But since, as of 3:41 pm on November 8, 2009, life is in my possession, I am choosing to entrust my volition to His Will. It's the best thing that I can do, and it makes the most sense. Time to move some things, and some people, around... yes.
PEACE
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